Throughout the highs and lows in my life, my siblings have been beside me every step of the way. They have helped to guide, love, and offer support without ever missing a beat.
I attribute this to our amazing mother and father. They paved the way for their four children to be close with one another. Our parents modeled the importance of being there for each other on this journey called life.
Mom and dad gave us a strong foundation of Christ. They instilled in us a sense of morals and values like so many other families.
Now did we always stay on course and do what was right? Hmmm… Of course not. But we definitely KNEW right from wrong.
Our family is like most families. As siblings, we tend to bicker at times. Fortunately, our squabbles die down, life goes on, and love saves the day. Like other families, we each have our flaws. Moreover, we love and we love hard. This sometimes shows up in ways that hurt us when we do not see eye to eye on things.
But in the end, love prevails.
“When life gives you lemons, call on your siblings.”
Billy, Beth and Jennifer were there for me when Randy and I suffered five miscarriages. And they were right there when our Miracle Baby, Sammy was born seven weeks early. Sammy would end up spending 68 days in the NICU.
My brother and sisters traveled from Kentucky, Connecticut, and New York to meet Sammy for the very first time. He weighed 4 lbs. and was attached to several wires and machines in the NICU. Unlike the times I met my nephews and nieces, Sammy could not be held. But even with their gloves on, they smiled, shed tears of joy, and touched his tiny fingers. And they prayed over their brand new nephew with so much love and excitement in their hearts.
Billy, Beth, Jenny and I have been there for one another in times of personal need. Our parents taught us to pray and ask God to answer our prayers with battles we were facing. They also taught us to give thanks to God even during the storm. As siblings, we have held hands, laughed, and cried tears of joy. And we continue to give Glory to God for answering our prayers again and again.
I married a man who also has siblings and loves them as much as I love mine. Randy understands and appreciates the value of maintaining strong sibling love relationships. This is especially important over the course of years as siblings leave home to start lives of their own.
The way this shows up in our lives includes daily phone calls with family members. And I do not mean 5-10 minute check-ins. Our conversations can last for hours. They are often in the form of conference calls, facetime, or zooms. Randy and I realize and value the special time we give to our siblings. It is a lifelong bond that is meaningful to us.
“When you marry one, you get all three.”
I recall something my brother Billy said to Randy on our wedding day almost fifteen years ago. While giving a toast he declared, “Randy, when you marry one, you get all three.” We all laughed, smiled, and nodded our heads in agreement for, we knew that this was factual. An equal blessing of mine is that this same belief exists with Randy and his siblings. I love being an observer of their daily phone conversations as well. And I adore the closeness that each has for the other.
Randy and I would have loved for Sammy to have had siblings. Watching them experience the richness of sibling love would have been special. This reality is something I often think about. We are raising a single child who will not have siblings.
So what does this mean? It means we have to be cognizant and strategic in many ways. The goal is to ensure that Sammy grows up still feeling the closeness that Randy and I had with our siblings. My brother and sisters have children and Randy has nieces and nephews. Sammy is close with all of them and we make sure to keep this a priority.
Vacations in our family often include more than the three of us. Extended family members will travel to exciting destinations. Bonding happens through experiences and memories are created. Furthermore, when Randy and I married, we decided to spend special holidays with family. They often visit us and we regularly visit them. Sammy is growing up with his cousins who are more like brothers and sisters and this feels good.
Sammy will also experience sibling love in the form of close friendships that he develops over years. My hope and desire is that he has at least 2-3 dear friends, who will always be there for him. Once we all come out of Covid-19 and having been quarantined for so long, I will start to plan.
I would like to plan mini vacations with families of Sammy’s friends. Maybe it will be to the Great Smoky Mountains, Wisconsin Dells, Martha’s Vineyard, the Outer Banks, or a Caribbean island. All sound exciting! I understand the importance of arranging adventures for Sammy to have in order to cultivate friendships with his friends.
In addition, I will resume planning fun play dates with his friends. It has been so long since we have ventured out. Play dates to the zoo, park, painting studio, and museum are on my list to make sure he develops solid friendships.
So for National Siblings Day, take time to call your sibling. Or if you are fortunate to see them in person, go for it! Spend some time reminiscing about the good ole’ times growing up.
For us, one time was when Beth and Billy were just 6 and 8 years old. As mommy was on the phone talking with her friend, the two of them felt mischievous. They unraveled a ball of twine and tied it all around mommy, the dining room table and chairs! She had no idea this was happening. And when she stood up to hang up the phone she almost fell! They literally roped her in! Billy and Beth were nowhere to be found.
And if you are like Sammy and have no siblings, call up your dearest friend and laugh and love on them.
Whatever you decide… just remember to enjoy all of this Sibling Love with your loves!
Lesley, This is such a Sweet tribute to your siblings on this day! Close sibling bonds have to be cultivated early on in the household. Your parents did a Phenomenal job raising all of four of you to LOVE on each other, through thick and thin, good or bad. Fortunately, Sammy has a plethora of role models on both sides of the family!
The pictures that you shared are a Beautiful reflection of your closeness.
Thank you so much Gloria! I admire your close bond with your siblings as well. I also love the relationship that your two daughters have. It is indeed special that Sammy has many role models on both sides of our family. We are truly grateful for this reality. Thank you for reading my blog post. I am elated that you liked the images showing our sibling love as well.
Beautiful reflections!
Thank you Nancy! I appreciate it!
I can tell you love your son deeply. I am going through a situation of learning to live without seeing my daughter everyday. My daughter is 3000 miles away in Los Angeles California because she has finished graduate schools and got a job working with Netflix as a storyboard artist. I prepared my daughter to leave home but I forgot to prepare myself for her leaving me. We talk everyday by telephone but it isn’t the same. I am saying this to you to let you know to prepare Sammy to be independent and take time to prepare yourself for when Sammy grows up. I love how you are spending so much quality time with Sammy. He will appreciate it when he gets older. Continue to take care of yourself. I miss our time together at VUU. Stay dynamic and true to yourself
Sonia, thank you for your kind words about how I love Sammy and for sharing your loving relationship with your daughter. For years, I have admired how much you love your daughter and how your face lights up when you talk about her and her amazing accomplishments in life! She is Blessed to have you as her mommy! I am proud of her position at Netflix so please congratulate her for me. I can also imagine just how hard it is for you to be 3,000 miles away from her. It is lovely that you talk daily but I know that it is not the same as in person. Your comments about the need for mothers to prepare themselves for the time their children depart home is profound. I am going to add it to my blog list to write about at some point. Perhaps you will consider writing it as well as a Guest Blogger for WatchMonkeyMama… please let me know once you think it over. I miss you my friend and I am so Blessed that we met at our beloved Virginia Union University. Love you!
I just love this SIBLING LOVE blog! Awesome parents setting the stage for the bond that is forged through life between siblings is core to that love which is shared without question or pause during life’s many ebbs and flows. Sammy having cousins and children of family friends is God’s unique gift to him of whom I’m calling “kin-sibs or friend-sibs” to grow with him and to create beautiful memories along the way. You and Randy, like yours, are amazing parents to our Sammy! I thoroughly enjoy everything you write! I can’t wait until the next installment. 😊❤️🙏🏽
Wow! “Kin-Sibs!” “Friend-Sibs!” I LOVE IT! Thank you for coining these terms which I plan to use Tanya! I am always so appreciative of the fact that you enjoy reading my blogs on WatchMonkeyMama and that you take the time to respond by writing a meaningful comment! I am looking forward to Sammy developing these loving relationships that will hopefully stay with him for years and years to come!
This blog post is so touching to me Lesley! I lost my brother to cancer two years ago and I still feel the loss acutely! Sibling love is a blessing and it remains a blessing to you even after they go to be with the Lord! Sharing the Gospel with our children and raising them to have a saving relationship with Jesus is the greatest gift we can give our children! Love this blog post!❤️
Thank you so much Kendra! I am sure you are comforted by the loving memories of your brother even though I am sure it is very sad at times that he is not here on earth with you. Thank God we know we will see our loved ones again one day in Heaven. I appreciate you reading my blog and making connections. I love my brother and sisters so vey much! Every day Randy and I talk with Sammy about God. We pray with him and to your point, it will be his relationship with Jesus that will be with him every day. And to this we are thankful.