For all the women who carry their fertility drugs with them everyday…
And pray while holding the fattest chunk of skin they can between their fingers…
Then hold their breath as they push long needles into their skin…
For all the women who just cried because they got their period and this signals they are not pregnant.
To those waiting by the phone for the nurse or doctor to call to tell you if it worked… if your blood test shows that you’re pregnant.
I am speaking to women and men traveling all across the nation and beyond to meet with medical specialists one more time to try something different this time.
For the women who try not to be obvious when turning their heads to glance back at another woman taking a stroller out of her car… pushing a baby in a carriage… breastfeeding in a mall…
For the women who drive past the parking lot spaces titled “For Expectant Moms” and say a prayer hoping that this will be them one day pulling into that space.
To those laying on tables with acupuncture needles protruding from their stomachs, feet, foreheads, hands, and so many other points on their bodies.
To those taking Chinese herbs, eating pineapple and Brazil nuts and drinking pomegranate juice.
To all who sit in waiting rooms of fertility centers with accelerated heart beats and anxiety as they wait for their names to be called…. as they watch the faces of patients leaving hoping to see some sign of hope that if it works for others maybe… just maybe… it will work for them.
For those who have to somehow tell their bosses that for a few weeks they will arrive to work later than usual because they are having IVF treatments and need to undergo tests and procedures early in the mornings.
To the women who are invited to baby showers and will attend because they are genuinely happy for the expectant mothers even though on the inside it hurts like hell… They sit there watching the opening of gifts, hearing the excitement, and praying that their eyes do not start to tear up. They have to be strong. They must hold onto the belief that one day, it will be “their baby shower.”
To the ones laying on medical exam beds holding their breaths while having sonograms and praying for the nurse or doctor to find a heartbeat…Please dear God let there be a heartbeat! … only to be told, “I am so sorry… there is no longer a heartbeat.”
To those who are pregnant and sit in meetings or stand while having conversations or wake up from sleeping with a gush of blood and already know… they have just lost their baby.
To the fathers who undergo testing, hold the hands of their wives, pray on their knees, inject their wives with fertility drugs, and hold their breaths each and every day waiting alongside their wives for signs of hope.
For the couples who sit in churches every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day praying and claiming that next year on this very day they will have their infant in church with them. Next year she will be a mother who stands and walks to the front of the church to receive her rose from the pastor.
To the couples who grow closer in their faith and marriage, and continue to dream and do everything humanly possible to have a baby. They will go down all possible roads to have their child.
For the wives whose husbands have put the brakes on and declared, “No more.” Their husbands have decided to call it quits on trying whatever it takes to have a baby…even if their wives are brokenhearted and want to keep trying…
To the wives who surrender their dreams and live adventurous lives with their husbands…
To the couples who called it quits…
To those who get a positive pregnancy test FINALLY and survive another recurrent miscarriage FINALLY and throughout their pregnancy have a bit of fear inside their hearts every. single. time. they go to the bathroom…and this lasts the entire pregnancy…
To those who wake up every day in their pregnancy recognizing that they are still pregnant…that they still feel their baby moving…that this time, it really seems to be working and declare, “One Day Closer.”
I am this woman.
I feel your pain too.
This is a sisterhood like no other.
Wherever you are on your journey to motherhood…whatever you have decided to do moving forward… whatever testimonies you have…
Know that I am with you on this journey.
You were with me on my journey.
And always know that God is with us.
Mother’s Day will be filled with many emotions and we have a right to experience all of them.
Just know… you are not alone.
One Day Closer… 
Love,
Lesley,
Mommy Blogger at WatchMonkeyMama
WOW! How eye opening to those of us who never knew. Happy Mother’s Day.
Yes, so much happens on the infertility journey and every woman has her own struggles. I wanted to capture some of them in my blog post and pay tribute regardless of the outcomes. Thank you for reading. Happy Mother’s Day Nancy!
A beautiful story shared about a passage with many tense indiscernible moments but faith and constant dialogue with Jesus brought you through the physical discomfort and the psyche maze holding onto the belief you were swathed in God’s arms and held tight his unchanging hands of promise….thus we met Sammy. Oh Happy Day! Happy Mother’s Day! Love and am in awe of you and Randy.
Thank you mommy!! Thank you for being a prayer warrior for us and our desires to have a child! I couldn’t love you more!
Thank you for this post! I know this so well.
Adding one more: To those women who can’t walk past the baby / diaper aisle at a grocery store because you just miscarried your baby.
Thank you Sookie. Yes, that is another reality for us. So many reminders of the baby/ies we have lost. Thank you for reading my latest blog.
I remember when we were at the gala and you were giving yourself one of thoses shots and the door came opened and I tried to shield you from the people outside that room to give you a little privacy. I thought wow she really wants a baby bad and when Sammy came and was in the hospital I prayed he would be okay, and have been following him ever since. I am so happy you and your husband were blessed with Sammy.
Wow Paula! Thank you for recalling this memory. I remember it myself…one moment we were all in the banquet room dancing and partying while wearing our masquerade masks and gowns and the next, I was in the restroom injecting myself with my fertility drug. Life must go on right? LOL Thank you for showing love and compassion to me that evening by shielding me from others and giving me a private moment. That was such a selfless act and I can’t thank you enough! And thank you so much for being a prayer warrior for Sammy when he came into this world and spent 68 days in the NICU! You are a true blessing!
Amazing. Happy Mother’s Day Aunt Lesley! You are a great Mommy and Aunt. Such an inspiration and role model to many, especially me! I love you! ❤️
Thank you my sweet niece Brooklyn! I am so proud of you, appreciate that you read my blogs, and love you! They most certainly show the many roads that women travel on.
I never knew you went through all that struggle to have a child. I am proud of you for not giving up and I wish you an amazing and Happy Mother’s Day.
Thank you so much Sonia! Yes, in 9 years, Randy and I suffered five miscarriages. However, we never gave up and kept praying to God. We also sought medical IVF treatments to help us as it has helped so many other couples. Happy Mother’s Day to you too my friend and Soror.
Very informative and very moving, Such a journey! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Mary Lee! I am pleased that you found my blog post riveting. Thank you for reading it and commenting.
Beautifully Written Blog Les!
I know this will help so many women, wives and husbands, who needed to hear YOUR story.
I totally forgot about the special parking space that was added I’m guessing about 10 years ago and Well-Deserved, I might add.
Happy Mother’s Day to YOU! You are a Wonderful mother to Sammy!
He is truly Blessed to have you, Randy and his village, surrounding him as he grows.
Thank you for your kind words Gloria! I am happy and blessed to share my story hoping it will help bless others. Others have certainly blessed me with their stories. Happy Mother’s Day to you too!