“Mommy! Daddy tell me if Scotchee go with God,
Scotchee see mommy’s father and daddy’s mom and Lexi.”
Last Sunday, we had to make a family decision, one which we had made two years earlier, to say goodbye to our second dog….
In the first year of our marriage, Randy and I were so excited about having a baby! But then, almost 10 weeks into my pregnancy, I suffered a miscarriage at home. It was painful both physically and emotionally. Thankfully, our faith in God and love for one another carried Randy and me through this storm. Immediate family members and a few intimate friends, disheartened by our grave news, shared in our sorrow and lifted us up in prayer.
With the passing of weeks, my body and mind slowly healed. (But, little did I know, this scene would play out again four more times with the death of four more babies over the next eight years.)
One icy-cold November evening, Randy and I walked into a small animal rescue center to adopt a dog. We felt a dog could add joy during our grieving and somehow fill the painful void. Inside the animal rescue center, we walked up and down the aisles peering through crates at all breeds of tail-wagging dogs waiting to be adopted. Eventually, our eyes fixated on a puppy with the most beautiful and striking, double coat of black, gray, and white hair, and piercing brown eyes. She was a mix of Australian Cattle and German Shepherd.
We were immediately told she had experienced trauma due to her elbow being run over by an Amish buggy. We learned Australian Cattle dogs instinctively love to run with horses. Perhaps this is what led to her accident. She and her mother were rescued on a dirt road in a rural part of Northeast, Ohio. Her mother was in the process of being adopted by another family. Empathy quickly set in.
As the rescue center staff recounted the story, it was suggested we probably wouldn’t want this dog due to her injury. Her arm was going to be amputated. Repair surgery was not a viable option at the animal rescue center; thus amputation was imminent. We were advised to adopt another rescue dog!
Too late! We were already smitten. The thought of her arm being amputated as well as being separated from her mother tugged at our hearts. We understood well, as just a few weeks earlier, we had suffered the loss of our baby. We imagined the pain and suffering this precious pup would feel losing both her mother and limb. Taking in the details of her life story reinforced our thinking that she was the one. As I gazed into her beautiful, dark brown eyes, my heart filled with joy and excitement. After a brief deliberation with Randy, I exclaimed, “We’ll take her!”
“Lexi” (short for Alexis) was house-trained in the middle of winter, slept in a crate, ran and slid all over our hardwood floors, never missed a fallen crumb on the floor, and chewed on only one house fixture in all the years we had her. She was the recipient of our overflowing and unending smiles, hugs, and love. And on our daily walks, boy, could Lexi sprint! Lexi had fire in her belly! Never did she allow her crushed elbow, raised paw, and limp to slow her down or keep her from anything she wanted to do. Always, people would look and wonder why her paw dangled in the air as she ran, walked, or stood. And once they learned her life story, they would marvel at her tenacity. Simply put, she was the joy of our lives.
Our first year with Lexi involved many visits to her veterinarian. Randy and I decided we would do all we could to save her arm. And we did. Lexi was doing well; the decision was to not risk an operation. Plus, now in our second year of marriage, we were elated to be expecting a baby again.
Sadly, this pregnancy was also short-lived. We found ourselves right back in that same place just a year earlier: reliving all the physical and emotional pain of losing another baby.
Second time around, I miscarried naturally at home again. One thing was for sure though. Our faith in God, love for each other, and everlasting prayers never took a back seat. Deep within our hearts, Randy and I knew we would eventually have our baby. “This was all part of God’s plan.” We kept telling ourselves.
Well, I must have thought that getting a second puppy following our second miscarriage was also part of God’s plan. That’s exactly what I told Randy, and he went right along with it.
This time we drove to Petco and made our way to a large section with crated dogs awaiting homes. It didn’t take us long to spot our next dog! Awaiting us was the sweetest Golden Retriever with a flowing coat of golden hair, big brown eyes, and the most gigantic paws I’ve ever seen on something so little! As soon as the Petco staff removed her from her crate and placed her in our holding space, this darling little pup relieved herself right there on the floor in front of us on my shoes! Smiling and laughing, we took this as a sign of approval and immediately paid for her.
Upon arriving home, “Scotchee” (short for Butterscotch) immediately gravitated toward Lexi and, from that day on, the two were inseparable. And for Randy and me, the love for our second dog also helped to ease the pain of losing another baby.
The veterinarian assured us that getting Scotchee was the best thing we did for Lexi. She was notorious for outrunning Scotchee on any given day. And mind you, Scotchee certainly gave Lexi a run for her money. The “two sisters” were joined at the hip and loved each other deeply. And, as long as Lexi was happy and moving along well, the decision to leave her arm alone remained.
The days, weeks, months, and years that followed all affirmed that Lexi and Scotchee needed us as much as we needed them. Two years after bringing Scotchee home, they both would help us get through yet another miscarriage — our third.
“I think we should get another puppy!” Seeing exactly where this was heading, Randy might as well have replied, “Now hold your horses!” It was clear I had correlated getting a new puppy with every miscarriage. This did not happen.
A family of four, full of love and life, Lexi and Scotchee appeared in every Christmas card. Randy and I still held onto our anticipation of a baby whenever God would bless us. Our faith never wavered, even with suffering two more miscarriages, totaling five in our nine years of marriage. We understood. We accepted. We prayed. It was all in God’s timing; not ours.
God answered our prayers in the fall of 2015! Lexi and Scotchee were the first ones to greet Sammy when we brought him home after spending 68 days in the hospital’s NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Lexi never left his side and chose to sleep right by his bassinet. A bit possessive of him, she would bark whenever she felt someone came too close to him. A year later, when Sammy started walking, there were a few close calls when Scotchee, rushing outside to relieve herself, would brush right by him causing him to lose his balance and fall over. Fortunately, we knew what to expect and were always there to supervise and catch Sammy. All three were the best of buddies!! Our home was full of warmth, great laughter, and abundant love.
Over the past five years, the month of September has proven to be particularly joyous yet bittersweet. In September 2015, Sammy was born. Two years ago, Labor Day weekend, at the age of 84, Lexi went home to Heaven after succumbing to stomach cancer. And just a few days ago, on September 11th, at age 91, Scotchee joined her big sister in Heaven after battling multiple seizures due to a brain tumor.
Lexi and Scotchee, my “babies” as I often referred to them, came into our lives when we needed them most. They comforted us in our losses, grief, and as Sammy dealt with and overcame his medical challenges. Sammy, Randy and I, in return, were blessed to comfort them through their illnesses and when they peacefully passed away. On the day Scotchee died, our 4-year- old Sammy explained:
“Mommy! Daddy tell me if Scotchee go with God,
Scotchee see mommy’s father and daddy’s mom and Lexi.”
With tears flowing and my heart aching, I smiled and nodded at Sammy, for I knew in my heart all was well. And so does Sammy.
What a beautifully touching story about your precious babies. I know Lexi and Scotchee are running freely in heaven. I’m sorry for your losses. Love you. Keeping you in my prayers.
Thank you Pam. Yes, they were certainly our precious babies. I do believe that they are having FUN in Heaven. I also appreciate your sympathy and love you! Thank you for your continued prayers my friend.
What a beautiful testimony! “Write On”! ❤️❤️
Thank you for reading my blog Devonne. You and I both know the pain from losing our pet-babies. Just this morning, I walked out of a room and before closing the door I looked back for, that is when scotchee would have been right there at my feet following me out of the room. Today I simply closed the door behind me.
So very moving, my soror. Tears are flowing. My heart is smiling with the assurance that our God IS! You, Randy are Sammy are a strong, tight and truly blessed family! ❤
Aweeee thank you Soror! Your sweet words and tears make my heart happy. Yes!! God certainly IS! We owe it all to HIM for blessing us with Sammy and Lexi and Scotchee. Thank you for reading my blog and taking a moment to comment.
Very moving and beautifully written! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you very much Mary Lee for your thoughts about my blog! I am glad you enjoyed it.
So beautiful! I empathize with your feelings having had two miscarriages, one while hosting a holiday dinner to about 24 plus guests – Deacon and Trustee Board and their wives. And having at 7 years of age seen my first brand new puppy run over in front of my home. No matter our age in life these emotional ruptures hit hard. I am so happy for the wonderful supportive relationship you and Randy have. Here, the images of your beautiful Lexi and Scotchee are exquisite in composition and color. I am awed with how beautiful Sammy’s body language leaning into Lexi and Lexi looking up into Sammy’s face conveys the sympatico between the two. The overturned red cup between them informs of a change…a disruption. So very telling is this image of caring and goodbye. Lesley, you have a great eye and are a wonderful storyteller.
Mother, thank you so much for interpreting the images of Sammy, Lexi and Scotchee. They are so beautiful and show the love that the three had for each other. I am so glad you read my blog and associated some of the storytelling with your own painful experiences of loss of two babies and a dog. All three are very, sad circumstances. I know that God brought you through all of them. Finally, thank you for acknowledging and appreciating the relationship that Randy and I have. It’s been a journey of highs and lows like many marriages but our love and faith never wavered.
That was so beautiful Lesley! I loved your writing, your word pictures and the photos that you chose. I’m happy for you Randy and Sammy and your loving home. Praying for the Holy Spirit to comfort you and heal your grieving hearts. An early Happy Happy 5th Birthday to Sammy!! 😘❤️🎂🎉🙏🏾🥳
Thank you Myrla for reading my blog and expressing your kind and complimentary thoughts. I also appreciate your words of sympathy on the passing of Scotchee. Yes…Sammy will soon be 5! Amazing! Thanks again Myrla!
Lesley,
You described the love you and your family had for your two beautiful dog babies Perfectly! The photos were an extra touch and told a visual story that truly made me smile.
Sammy’s words were Priceless! It’s hard to believe he is turning 5 soon! Happy Birthday Sammy!
I look forward to reading your blogs because your writing is so very detailed, personal and keeps me engaged.
My condolences to all of you. I know there will be days when you will truly miss Lexi and Scotchee. That is a normal emotion and a part of the grieving process. Sending you, Randy and Sammy love and prayers.
Again, Thank you for being a Great writer and sharing your truth.
Thank you Gloria for reading my blog and for commenting on my writing and photography which helps me to tell my stories. I’m glad that this particular blog brought a smile to your face as you read it. I appreciate your feedback and look forward to sharing future blogs with you and others. Thank you also for your loving words for Sammy, Randy, and of course, Lexi and Scotchee.
This is such a beautiful story. You are so resilient and always inspire me, I’m am awed by your strength. I love you all, and take comfort in knowing we will see Lexi and Scotchee again. ❤️
Brooklyn, thank you so much! I am humbled by your thoughtful and loving words. I love you! Yes, we shall see Lexi and Scotchee again one day. But God!
Beautiful! I’m so proud of you! Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much Debbie! Much appreciated and I certainly will!
Wow, that was beautiful and sad. I never talk about it but I am a dog person. I have had dogs all of my life. Now we have Koda. He is an 11 year old Maltese with a bad attitude (lol). During the lockdown he has been my buddy. These days walks with him have been therapeutic for me. It is crazy how much these little ones give us comfort and stability. I remember when my brother Neil was dying of cancer 4 years ago, his dog Rocco would not leave his bedside. It made us all smile during that difficult time. Anyway, thank you for sharing your story and reminding me to count all of my blessings including the doggie ones!
Thank you for reading my blog and commenting Anne! Koda sounds like a beautiful dog. I am glad that he comforts you at a time like this when our world has taken on a new normal. Thank you also for sharing your personal account of your brother Neil, his cancer battle, and how Rocco comforted him up to his last day here on earth. That’s unconditional love right there. I am grateful that my blog brought bittersweet memories to you and confirmed that blessings come in all forms. God Bless.
Thank you for sharing and nice photos (you always capture great pictures). Condolences to family for your loss.
Thank you for both your condolence and compliments of my latest blog keisha! I appreciate the time you took to read it and make a comment. I loved capturing moments in the lives of Lexi, Scotchee and all of life. I like that you like my photography! Have a great day!
GG!
I’m literally sitting here in tears about your beloved babies Lexi and Scotchee. I know how much you all loved them. They were the best! I loved hearing and seeing them whenever I visited your beautiful home. I absolutely loved that they were in your Christmas cards as they should’ve been! I’m sending tons of hugs to you all! They were as beautiful as your entire family is.
Aweeee GG… Thank you for remembering our sweet Lexi and Scotchee! Yes – we couldn’t have loved them more and they were definitely part of our family. This year you will see our new addition Charlie who is loved the same as Lexi and Scotchee. Hopefully, one of these days when life returns to somewhat normal or rather our new normal, you’ll get to meet Charlie. Thanks for reading my blog and supporting WatchMonkeyMama! I truly appreciate it!