In 1981, Dunkin Donuts launched a television commercial advertisement campaign titled, “Time to Make the Donuts!” Fred the Baker, played by actor Michael Vale, was seen waking up early in the morning and dragging his feet in preparation of work. He had one job to do and that was to get to the bakery to make the fresh donuts that we all love to eat. The popular ad ran for fifteen years and was both humorous and engaging.
Well, I am no Fred the Baker, but as “Sammy’s Mama,” I have decided to launch my own campaign. Now that Sammy has received his Covid-19 vaccine, (and so have his friends), it is “Time to Plan the Playdates!”
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After two long years of being inside at home having survived cabin fever and all, the time had finally arrived. Our 86 lb. puppy, Charlie was in the basement, the guest bedroom was ready to receive Sammy’s guest, and Sammy, Randy and I had decided on the menu for dinner, breakfast, and all the extras that would take place. The doorbell rang, Nadia walked in with her mother Erika, and her father James waited patiently in their car outside with the engine running.
We probably spent three minutes in the hallway smiling, giggling, hugging, and feeling anxious. Let me correct myself. “Sammy and I” probably felt anxious. Prior to the drop-off, Erika and I had several phone conversations and facetimes, and communicated via text messages as well. We discussed Nadia’s love of pizza, spending the night, eating bacon and eggs in the morning, and being dropped off for dance classes and then being picked up. I urged Erika and James to spend as much time as possible enjoying their time away and that this playdate was meaningful in two ways. Being able to keep Nadia for my close friend was one thing and having Sammy transition slowly back into playdates with his friend in the comfort of his home and with loads of fun, was another.
There were ten days to prepare leading up to this moment. You are probably thinking, “Who needs ten days to plan for a playdate?” I hear you. In all fairness it was not like we literally needed ten days, but more like “I” needed the time to help Sammy transition back into playdates. Typically, announcing a playdate was a no brainer. This of course was pre-Covid-19. I would make arrangements with the parent of Sammy’s friend and add it to the calendar. Sammy would get excited, we would jointly plan the experience, and it would be a success.
But all things “typical ” were thrown out when Covid-19 made its presence almost two years ago. Sammy, like a lot of children, went from having a social calendar full of fun and active playdates to sharing with me that he did not remember certain friends when I would occasionally name them to trigger his memory. I often did this during the pandemic in their absence to offer some sense of hope for playdates and fun to come. I also prayed for the vaccine to get here sooner rather than later for my little boy to resume his life with his friends.
Sure, there were zoom interactions throughout this pandemic but they were not the same. Even though virtual classes with other children were fun and had Sammy laughing and moving his body in excitement at times, something was definitely missing. I guess you would call it the human connection of a friend literally in your presence to have free, uninterrupted play.
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Nadia kissed her mother good-bye, I shut the door, and looked down and stared at 9 year old Nadia and 6 year old Sammy. Suddenly, I felt like Fred, the Baker at the donut shop doing what he needed to do to get the employees motivated to make the donuts. It was playdate showtime and we certainly needed to put on a show!
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Sammy and I stayed glued to one another for the first hour or so while the three of us played games. We sat on the living room floor playing “Too Many Monkeys” followed by “Pop! the Pig” with Sammy speaking to Nadia through yours truly. He would whisper in my ear and I would convey his statements to Nadia. I was completely fine with this and imagined how Sammy might be feeling having a friend over for the first time in over two years. I also know my child and want to support him socially and emotionally as he transitions back to playdates and interacting with others. An observer looking on would not have been able to detect that this was a long, overdue reunion because the smiles and body language exhibited by both Nadia and Sammy resembled natural interactions. Children are simply amazing!
An hour later, we hopped into the car for a quick ride to Kroger for snacks and then Pizza Hut for pizza pies. (Hey! I am a New Yorker and we say pizza pies back in Brooklyn). You would have thought a baby cried out “Da Da” for the very first time when I heard Sammy finally open up and make a verbal statement. I purposely refrained from commenting and just smiled into the rearview mirror. All along, he had been opening up little by little.
And as they say, “The rest is history!” What follows are images of the best playdate one could ask and hope for with children coming out of the pandemic. I also came up with 11 tips that worked for us which you may find useful.
FUN!
Car Shenanigans While Waiting for Nadia After Dance Class
Love for Lava Lamps with Our Young Scientists!
From Science to Soccer!
Young Painters!
My 11 Tips for Helping Children Ease Back into Playdates
- Read books with your child about friendships. Some of the themes that are important are sharing, appreciating diversity, working through problems, etc.
- Prepare in advance. Answer questions children may have. Plan collaboratively so that your child has a voice in the planning.
- Have games, hands-on materials, books, snacks, beverages, etc. in prime areas for children to independently retrieve when they want it.
- Plan a short zoom encounter for the children to see one another prior to the playdate and/or show images from your cellphone of a previous playdate to spark memories.
- If possible, have the transition playdate occur with a familiar friend.
- Stay close by in proximity to lend support if needed. This may very well mean you are next to your child for as long as you sense or they convey that they need you.
- Join in for fun with the games. Invite others in the house to join in as well. You will know when you have suddenly become the third wheel.
- Let them have FUN! This means lots of unrestricted, free play that adults have no say in with regards to planning, guidelines, time spent, etc.
- Take pictures to serve as a reminder of the fun that was had.
- Begin to talk about the “next playdate” to keep the momentum going.
- Plan the next playdate!
This blog gave me goose bumps and the biggest smile (almost tears because I’m emotional). Human interaction is like needing water to drink … you can’t live without it. At least that’s how I feel. As adults we can make choices of venturing out during a pandemic, our children not so much. Thank you Lesley for allowing Nadia to take this journey with Sammy. We love you!
Thank you Erika (and James) for putting out the ASK which served multiple purposes. I am elated that you were touched by the experiences that our precious children had which I conveyed in my blog. Sammy cannot wait for the next playdate with Nadia! He frequently talks about it. And every time we pass by your home he exclaims, “Nadia’s BEAUTIFUL home!” We absolutely loves the Christmas decorations! When we called you the other day, he was going to tell you this personally. Moreover, you are correct with what we as adults were able to do during the pandemic in contrast to our children. I am praying that our children learn many lessons from this ordeal and that their friendships deepen in many ways. We love you too! Now let’s add some dates to our calendars. 🙂
Awesome
Thank you Paula! I appreciate you!
Lesley, What a Great Blog! Just reading a story like this is what so many parents with young kids need to hear.
Sammy and Nadia conveyed their excitement through such captivating pictures!
Thank you Gloria! I am glad that you enjoyed my blog and loved my photographic images! Sammy and Nadia had a fantastic playdate! I am also happy that you believe that parents of young children need to hear this information.
I enjoyed seeing the excitement and joy on the faces of both children. You put a lot of time and work into the planning.
Thanks so much Nancy! They were so engaged from beginning to end and had tons of fun! I love experiential learning for all children so it is important to me to have experiences for Sammy and his playdates to be engrossed in hands-on. I also love and appreciate lots of uninterrupted free play and they enjoyed that as well. As you can imagine, Sammy is looking forward to future playdates with Nadia and other friends.